Why I follow Him

You see, when your life is not as broken as mine, it is easy to call me names, referring to me as being too radical, too religious, too everything that makes you uncomfortable. But you see my friend you have not walked in my shoes and you do not understand how far the Lord has brought me. If it were not for Him, I'd be dead, not just physically but also spiritually. 

Do you want to know why I follow Him?

I am a woman broken by the past. Broken by the failure and disappointment of my personal life. A woman driven to wretchedness of heart and spirit. A woman so soiled that it was almost impossible to see any clean spot on me.

You see, like the woman with the issue of blood, I too had my affliction, that never seemed to go away. I remember that day as clear as day when I touched the hem of His garment and He healed me. And you dare refer to me as being too radical? Where were you when I spent lots of money on doctors who could not heal me? Where were you when I sauntered along the path of life feeling my life drain out of me with every breath? Where were you? I follow Him coz I know Him as the Lord my Healer, Jehovah Rapha.

You judge me and call me names. I look like a fool in your sight. You see, like the woman who broke the alabaster jar and poured expensive perfume upon the Master's feet, I too have poured my tears on His feet. When I think of how far and how deep a hole I was sinking into, and He pulled me out and cleansed me, I can only bow down and weep at His feet. You tell me I am spending too much on Him and I wonder coz I feel like there is nothing else I could ever give to Him as a way of saying, "Thank You Lord!" Look at me, I was used and discarded, and when He found me, He made me whole again. He is indeed the Lord my Restorer. 

You point your finger at me. You call me a prostitute and yet deep in my heart I know like Tamar of old, I was raped. My innocence shattered by a man I trusted. My life was never the same after those incidences that he carefully kept secret. I walked around, wanting love, seeking affirmation, all in the wrong places and in the wrong arms, and then one day I met my Savior. He wiped my tears and washed away my garments of shame. You can call me names, you can shun me, you can say I am super-spiritual but then that is all I can be. If you had walked in the dungeon that I had walked before, even contemplating suicide, then you would shut your mouth and seek to know this man that has loved me unconditionally and has given me the promise of eternal life. He is my Lord, my Savior.

You see, I am getting tired of being judged for being a "spiri" Christian. What am I supposed to be? Do you want me to risk sliding back to the miry clay that the Master so lovingly and patiently pulled me out of? Do you want me to relax in my zeal, my love, my passion for this Man Who drew me to Himself even when I was dirty, forsaken, rejected, and beaten up? Why do you ask me to love Him less and yet He has loved me so much? Why does my commitment and zeal rub you the wrong way? Do I remind you of where you ought to be? 

Why do I follow Him? He asked me to follow Him without fear or shame and I know no other way aside from being 100% committed to Him. I know no other way than to give up all that displeases Him and embracing that which brings Him joy. I follow Him because He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and without Him I will never know God my Father. 

I follow Him because He is the Only Way to eternity. I know no other.

I follow Him because He is the Peace I sought for many years. I know no other.

I follow Him because He is my Righteousness. I know no other.

I follow Him because in His arms I have found rest. Rest that no man can ever offer.

I follow Him simply because in Him I have found unconditional love.

I follow Him because in Him there is the richness of life that can never be found anywhere else.

I follow Him because He is my Lord, my Savior, my eternal God. 

Amen!